I like to view the world in a realistic way.
One thing that I think is obvious about the world that we live in is that people are visually-oriented. Good or bad, that's the way things are. And, depending on what visually-oriented means to you, I don't tend to think it's a bad thing. For me, it means that you put effort into your appearance - you wear nice clothing to your office, you brush your hair before you leave the house, etc. This behavior goes for women and men. For example, women can put on a little mascara for work and men can put on a tie. To clarify, I am not referring to changing natural things about you, such as nose shape or body type (unless you want to).
But there's something that really gets me. There are women who vehemently refuse to wear makeup or change their clothing or cut their hair into a more flattering shape, even when it's to the detriment of their dating life and their professional prospects. They get angry at anyone for even suggesting it. It seems to me that women do this for one of two reasons. The first is that they feel like they're lying - they don't want to lie about what they actually look like, they don't want to lie by flattering their body in a way that improves the shape of their frame, they don't want to lie by getting a haircut that they have no expectation of styling. The second is that they feel like they're taking a stand for women everywhere by refusing to change their appearance - they shouldn't have to change the way that they look to fit in with some standard they never agreed to in the first place.
I fundamentally disagree with this outlook on femininity.
As a woman who didn't know how to do my makeup until I was 21 and who rarely if ever wore makeup before that, I say this without having been brainwashed into thinking society needed me to look like a photoshopped version of myself. In fact, I was probably influenced in the other direction: wearing makeup was a bad thing in my childhood and teenage years. But the fascinating thing that I learned when I started doing makeup was the way that I started viewing other people: I would look at a friend of mine, for example, and think to myself, "Wow, her features are stunning. I could accentuate that with a little bit of eyeliner, or a little bit of contour, or a little bit of lipstick." Everyone became beautiful because their best features could all be brought to life with just a little bit of cosmetic artistry.
Wearing makeup isn't a lie, and it isn't something that the world has enforced on you. It's a tool you can use to become even more beautiful than you already are. Do you have to pack on the eyeshadow or wear bright red lipstick? Absolutely not. But if you have beautiful green eyes, why not wear mascara to make them stand out? Why not give the men that you're interested in the absolute best chance of seeing you at your most attractive?
And wearing clothing that flatters your figure? That's just common sense. In fact, to me it's a double standard. Women complain about men wanting them to look put together...but we expect the same thing from men. If a guy walked in for a first date without having showered, brushed his teeth, or put on a clean shirt, wouldn't you be disappointed? It's a symbol of respect for him to look nice when he meets you.
The same goes for women. Yes, men don't have to wear makeup. But they have to shower, put on cologne, put on a fresh outfit and get ready in their own way for a date with a woman. And outside of that, they have to pay for the entire thing! And you want to know something else? Men have their own burden to attract women: by earning a living to support a family and/or exercising to keep themselves physically fit.
Are you changing your appearance to make other people happy? Well, first, I would say that you're not changing your appearance, you are improving upon it. Giving it a boost. But second, no one is happier that you put effort into your appearance - but you might be. You might actually get that job you've been dreaming of if you look the part. And you might catch the eye of that fellow you've been interested in. Even just small things, like a different lipstick or a pair of heels, can make a huge difference. So why resent what you can use to your benefit?
Do you agree? What are your thoughts? Let me know in the comments down below, and share with your friends!
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Hey! I'm Abby, the creator of Classically Abby, a commentary, opera, beauty, and lifestyle brand dedicated to looking at the world from a classic perspective. I'm the first Conservative Influencer and I'm an opera singer with three degrees in performance!